Browsing Tag


my story the day I became a victim
Abuse and Self Care, Encouragement

My Story: That Day I Became a Victim

Five years ago this very morning, I became a victim of violent sexual assault, a widow, and a single mother.

I’ve eluded to this in my writing from time to time, sharing with you many times that I know what I’m talking about when I share with you about domestic violence…emotional abuse…verbal abuse…physical threats…

They’re all in the pages of my personal history book.

But until now, I haven’t shared the ultimate demise of that abusive relationship, a day that’s forever burned into my memory and turned our world on its ear, causing us to grab hold of our faith in a desperate clutch like never before. Continue Reading

Encouragement, Life Is Beautiful

How Do We Handle Grief?

Our beabrador Lillie came to us in July 2008 as a tiny pup and immediately stole our hearts. She left us peacefully and like the lady she was on January 30, 2016 and we will never be the same. You can see her sweetly napping a few weeks ago in the featured picture in her favorite napping spot.

Grief. The word is looming, scary, nobody wants anything to do with it. We fear it.

My family is in the midst of grief. We said goodbye yesterday to a dear and faithful friend, our dog Lillie. She’d been with us for nearly 8 years, since she was just a tiny puppy. We’re her only people. If folks have never had pets or never had one that’s become like family, they won’t understand what I’m saying and I respect that.

But if you’ve had pets whom you adore, this will resonate with you. There’s this thing about dogs. They melt when you scratch their tummies. They want to snuggle up to you like a little baby and snore in your face. But in a heartbeat, they’d come between you and anything that poses a threat, willing to sacrifice their very lives for your safety.

There’s a reason we love our pets so much: They’re faithful. They may poop on the floor sometimes, but they never fail us. They fight for us. They don’t gossip about us. They are loyal, no matter what. They don’t lie to us. They don’t lie about us. They never betray us.  They keep our secrets. Their whole lives are about us. For most pets, we are their world. They are completely and undeniably dedicated to us and only us. Continue Reading

Encouragement, Health

How to Help Your Children Cope with Grief

Grief is a challenging, confusing struggle. As adults we wrestle with it, so how much tougher must it be for children? Last week, I wrote about grief over at Defying Shadows. It occurred to me later how differently we face things as adults than children do and that I’d be remiss if I didn’t share what I know about grief and children.  

Children aren’t just “little adults.” In fact, the way they function and process are quite different than how we operate as adults.  When my children lost their father, we were all reeling from the shock and grief. I had lost both my parents by then and was no stranger to grief, but I was very much a stranger to dealing with significant loss as a child. I learned a lot from my children during this process just as I learned a lot about them. That support was absolutely vital to their healing and mine. Continue Reading

Encouragement, Life Is Beautiful

Loss of a Friend: Going Back and Going Forward

I’ve lost a friend. Four days ago I received news that one of my closest friends since childhood had left this life. My reaction surprised even myself. I gasped and my hands flew up to my face, covering it as if to shut out the information I’d just learned and somehow make it untrue.

I wanted to write. That’s what we writers often do when we’re struggling with something: we make sense of it on paper. It’s our therapy. But words didn’t come.

Lisa was a writer. This was a fact that had bonded us at an early age. We’d compare thoughts, poems, and stories. She was the only person I knew who loved writing as much as I did. “The moon is keen and I like green” was one of the most memorable stanzas from an early poem she had written. Continue Reading