turquoise table in woods. be selfish with your energy
Abuse and Self Care, Encouragement

Why You Should Be Selfish with Your Energy

Are you tired?

I’m tired.

Often. Like every day I’m tired no matter how much sleep I get. Or don’t get, because I’m in pain or too hot or too cold. Autoimmune disease is a real picnic, if you don’t already know.

But this isn’t a whine-fest. I’m just laying down a couple of facts about me and Crohn’s disease as the groundwork for my point.

My point is that what energy I do have is precious. It’s a lot like time. We only have so much of it and we don’t really ever know how much we will have. Time is always of the essence.

On occasion, I will start a day feeling pretty okay as far as energy. I’m not running sprints down the street, but I feel better than usual. Other days, I’m exhausted when I wake up in the morning. And there’s no rhyme or reason to which kind of day I’ll get.

This got me thinking: I do not have the energy for pettiness. I do not have the energy to argue. I do not have the energy for drama in any form. I do not have the energy to criticize others or worry what others say about me. I don’t have the energy to judge someone or concern myself with whether someone else is casting judgement on me.

I don’t have energy to care if people likes me. Or don’t. I have no energy to be offended. I don’t have the energy to worry (though I do way too much of it).

Then one day I figured it out: Just like hours in a day, I only have so much energy in a day. And since I have no way of knowing when it’ll run out, I need to be almost selfish with it. I need to be smart with it.

I need to reserve my energy for what’s most important:



Spending time with loved ones.




Being a good wife and mom

Just like I can’t afford to spend money foolishly, I can’t afford to spend energy foolishly either.



Toxic people.


They suck away precious energy and give absolutely nothing back in return. They’re terrible “investments”!

I’m by nature a very selfless person. I almost always put others first and deny what I need (or want) almost every time. I’ve always been this way. Lately, I’ve been a little more “selfish” and started asking for what I need.

Let’s be real though. That’s not legitimate selfishness. It’s wisdom. If we need something – help, time, rest, understanding – we really need to express that. It’s just another component of self care…something we all need.

I’ve been better about shutting off social media lately, walking away from television (we recently “cut the cable”!), and reaching for a book instead. I’ve been better about going to bed when I need to and not just when everything is done.

I’m trying hard not to worry because that is the biggest leech of energy of all time. Drama has no room here. I won’t participate.

I will use my energy for me, for God, for my kids and husband, for adventures, friends, reading books, writing my book, and caring for our home.

Those areas are where I will spend the precious commodity that is my energy. I will spend it where it matters, where it will be absorbed and appreciated, and when I’m exhausted from using it all up, I will be happy and satisfied.

Where do you spend your energy? Do you need to make any changes?

Take care (no really…take care),

signature Melanie in aqua color



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  • Reply Cynthia Trejo June 26, 2017 at 10:47 am

    Such a great reminder. I like that you made a physical list, I am going to do that to keep me accountable.

  • Reply Melissa @ Think About Such Things June 26, 2017 at 11:50 am

    Really love this! It’s not selfishness at all…it’s wisdom. It’s being wise with the time and energy God has given you!! This is quotable! “Just like I can’t afford to spend money foolishly, I can’t afford to spend energy foolishly either.”

  • Reply Mihaela Echols June 26, 2017 at 2:34 pm

    I agree! I learned a long time ago that I did not want to get caught up in the petty things like drama and wanted to serve my time and energy in good company or encouraging someone.

    • Reply melaniespickett@gmail.com June 30, 2017 at 5:43 pm

      That’s so wise. It took me awhile to learn I couldn’t “fix” people and had to step away from drama. Plus, it’s bad for our health. <3

  • Reply Andrea June 26, 2017 at 3:58 pm

    If we don’t take care of ourselves and what’s important first….

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