When you think of someone in a domestic violence situation, how do you picture them?
Is your vision of a domestic violence victim influenced by what you’ve seen on social media? Or on television?
Have you formed a a general opinion about them and what their pasts might look like, what their personalities are like or have you even pre-judged them?
Here are 5 truth about domestic violence victims you might not already know:
They Don’t Stay Because They Want To: People often ask victims why they didn’t “just leave.” Sometimes they imply that leaving is simply and always a choice. It’s neither. Abusive relationships are entirely complex. The victim is afraid all the time and has been beaten down (physically and otherwise) for so long with the intention to make them entirely dependent on their abuser. They are told over and over that nobody will ever want them and that they can never survive without the abuser. These things keep them oppressed and afraid to leave. With good reason. When the victim leaves, that’s when they’re in most danger.
Victims Aren’t Responsible: Victims are not responsible for the behavior of the abuser. They didn’t ask for the abuse. No matter what, they don’t deserve it. Even if they missed red flags that might be obvious to some, they still are not to blame. This is not their fault. The behavior is 100% the responsibility of the abuser.
Victims Come from All Walks of Life Lifestyle, financial status, educational level, and the like don’t change whether someone is abused or not. Domestic violence victims can be less advantaged or wealthy or anywhere in between. They can be your neighbor or a celebrity.
The Scars Aren’t Always Visible Domestic violence, abuse…the damage isn’t always visible. A punch, slap, and kick leave visible marks most of the time. The emotional damage doesn’t leave a scar that you can see. We carry those pretty much forever. Guess what? Usually the punch hurts less than the attack on your personality, character, and abilities. That assault on the very person that you are and what you’re made of is seriously painful, especially coming from a person who probably once adored you (or pretended to) and vowed to protect and honor you.
Victims Aren’t Weak Absolutely not. We aren’t called warriors for nothing, folks! Even though when we’re in an abusive situation, we feel completely weak, helpless, and terribly isolated and alone, to survive such a thing takes great strength. To get up every day and take care of your children when you live in fear every single second, takes tremendous fortitude. There is nothing weak about an abuse victim. And to escape, rebuild your life, and find a way to even begin to heal and rise again? Well, that’s a downright courageous brave warrior.
