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Abuse and Self Care

Abuse and Self Care, Encouragement, Healthy Relationships

Why I Am Here

In just days from now, my blog will be two years old. It will emerge from infancy into blogging toddlerhood, as far as time goes. It occurred to me that the readers who trickled in when my blog was born two years ago might be very different from the readers I have now. And you all, who so graciously follow and read and support my heart that I put here for you to absorb, might not really know why I am here. Maybe it’s time to reintroduce myself as I go into year three.

I’m Melanie and I’m a writer. I’ve been so since I was six years old and a voracious reader. I would devour a chapter book in a day. And just like I loved reading, I developed a love for writing. One of my first “works” was a true story about the parents of a friend who were divorcing. It was the first I’d ever heard of such a thing, so it made an impression on me. I entitled it “D-i-v-o-r-c-e-d” because I figured it was a word you spelled in a whisper and not one you spoke aloud. Continue Reading

September 19, 2016
How to Avoid an Unhealthy Relationships
Abuse and Self Care, Encouragement, Health

How to Avoid an Unhealthy Relationship

Last week was important for me and my family. It marked five years since something quite tragic happened to us. I shared about it here in three parts: it took that many to get the story of That Day and our lives since it, out.

How encouraging and healing that experience has been and the support was overwhelming.

I shared because when we raise our voices, others will feel empowered to raise theirs…to share their stories, to encourage others, to leave their harmful situation.

Sharing helps lessen the stigma about domestic abuse. It’s important to know that verbal, emotional, and mental abuse are every bit as much abuse and, as damaging as, physical abuse. It’s just that the scars are often invisible. Continue Reading

April 24, 2016
My Story part 3 Moving On
Abuse and Self Care, Encouragement

My Story (Part Three): Moving On

This will round out my three-part post telling My Story. Just like I felt I needed to tell you how we got through those initial days, I want you to know where we are now. (This is long and I can’t apologize. I think in some ways, this third part is the most important of all. It’s my redemption).

It’s important to remember that “That Day” was the worst day, the culmination of years of issues. But nothing prior had rivaled his behavior on that day. Although he’d given me reason to fear him, I couldn’t have imagined that. He wrestled with his own issues that I believe he never sufficiently dealt with and begged him to get help with that, but he wouldn’t.

Note that beginning early into the marriage, the verbal abuse began: nit-picking everything I did, lying to me, infidelity earlier on and then later on again. He wasn’t a partner. He left nearly every household and family responsibility to me, but then would criticize every one of them… Continue Reading

April 20, 2016
My Story The Aftermath
Abuse and Self Care, Encouragement

My Story (Part Two): The Aftermath

Yesterday, I shared a significant portion of “my story” and my heart.

It was hard.

You can imagine if you read it, that it makes a person feel quite vulnerable to so openly discuss such painful and personal details.

When I saw the deluge of support and heard from others who’d been in abusive situations, I was reassured in my decision to tell you.

You know what happened now, but I’d be remiss if I only told you about what I refer to as “That Day” but didn’t tell you about the days after. Out of the pain, trauma, and having the very bedrock of our lives shaken, were born some beautiful things, beauty from ashes indeed. Continue Reading

April 18, 2016