There are several things I won’t apologize for as a domestic violence survivor. We face judgement from others no matter how long or short we stay in the dangerous relationship. We face judgement for how we choose to survive and that we should have known better than to get into said relationship in the first place. There are non-negotiables–things I won’t apologize for.
That’s a great question that I have no answer to. I’m nearly 13 years out from when my first husband–my abuser–attacked me in our home at gunpoint and forced me while tied up, to witness his suicide. When will I heal from that? When will you heal from domestic abuse?
I was married to my abuser for nearly 16 years. Almost all of those years were wrought with turmoil and a variety of abuse. Eventually, I was scared all the time. I was scared all the time of my husband! That should never occur. You shouldn’t fear your spouse. You shouldn’t be afraid in your own home. But there I was, raising two beautiful children, working full-time from home, running a household, and trying to keep us all safe from a man who vowed to protect us but was actually who we needed protection from.