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Encouragement

How to Make Your Husband Feel Loved

HOW TO MAKE YOUR HUSBAND FEEL LOVED

Today is my wedding anniversary. Collectively, my husband and I have been married nearly 40 years, but only 2 to each other. Although our first marriages did not work out despite our separate efforts to have Biblical marriages, we did learn a lot from those years with other spouses. We learned valuable lessons in what worked and what didn’t, how to be supportive spouses, and that it was right to expect to have a supportive, loving spouse in return.

Marriage is an amazing bond when you do it right. Certainly, I’m not perfect. I will falter. I can’t help it…I’m human. But I do know what it takes to make my husband feel loved and every day I make a decision to do those things. I want him to feel supported, loved, and honored. I once read that a man most needs to feel respected while a woman most needs to feel cherished and I believe in large part, that is true. Here are a few key points I’ve learned that make my husband feel loved.

Treat Him with Respect As I mentioned above, one of the most important things to a man is to feel respected by his wife and family. Once respect is lost by the husband or wife, it’s easy to go in a downward spiral quickly and it’s hard to repair. Speak highly of your husband whether he can hear you or not. If you have an issue with him, discuss it with him, not with your girlfriends. Approach him lovingly and if outside help is needed to resolve the issue, get it. Seek out wise counsel with a pastor or Biblical counselor. But refrain from name calling, even if you think it’s harmless. Be kind to him in his presence and in the presence of others. Express that you expect the same.

Be Supportive of His Dreams We all have dreams. Some of them may seem silly and unattainable but nevertheless, they’re our dreams. I want support of my dreams, right? What an amazing feeling when someone tells you to chase after it and they offer help in doing so. Be that support for your spouse. Even if you’re simply a sounding board or an encourager, be that if it’s what he needs. If you’re supportive of his aspirations, he will be supportive of yours.

Pray for Him Life is difficult. Men have a lot on their shoulders. Even if we don’t put those things on their shoulders, they pile it on themselves. If you didn’t like a movie he suggested, he takes it a little personally. If you’re struggling financially, often men feel the pressure of that even if they’re working like crazy to turn things around. Pray for him, that he will feel loved, honored, and supported, that God will give him the strength he needs for the day, that he will feel supported and loved at home so when he’s out in the world he can handle daily stress in a healthy way. Pray for him to flee from temptation and turn away from all the things that bombard him in the media. Pray that he will be praying for you and that he’ll honor and cherish you.

What things do you do on a daily basis to make your husband feel special? In what ways do you make a strong effort to support him? On the flip side, what does he do to make you feel cherished and supported?

November 17, 2014

Encouragement

Jesus Loves You!

We hear this all the time: Jesus loves you! It’s even a song. It’s an oft-heard phrase but have you ever really dissected that a bit and thought about how precious that really is? Sometimes we feel so small…we’re just one in a sea of billions of people on Earth. And there have been billions of people here before us and God loved them all. So what’s so special about me?? Let me tell you.

There may be billions of people but there’s none just like you or me or the guy down the street. We’re all uniquely different with our own oddities, quirks, features, characteristics, wants, needs, dreams. We often feel like the speck in “Horton Hears a Who.” Sometimes we feel so small,as if we’re a speck on the speck. But I’m telling you, He cares about everything you care about, simply because you care about it. If it’s important to you, it’s important to Him. If it hurts you, it hurts Him. He carries our burdens…willingly!

If you think of all the grains of sand on a beach, they’re too numerous to count. You couldn’t pick out a specific grain of sand. They all look the same! We’re those grains of sand–there are so many of us. Except God can reach down and pluck out a “grain” and tell you all about that “grain”, what it looks like, feels like, what it cares about, where it’s been, where it’s going. He can pick each one of us out of a crowd and knows everything about us at any time…because He loves us. I just wanted you to know.

November 6, 2014

Encouragement

What If We Were Kind?

Yesterday we had the privilege of voting in some pretty significant elections. Since the results came in, I’ve noticed a lot of fallout on social media. So many harsh words were being slung around. There were several mentions of folks unfriending others because they’d become aware of their opposing political stances. Strangers banded together to virtually gang up on a poster who held an unpopular viewwpoint. Personal attacks abound the internet this morning and it made me quite sad.

It’s been said never to discuss religion or politics, the theory being that any such discussions can never end well. I’d prefer to say we go ahead and participate in those discussions but do so with a clear head and respectfulness in your delivery. These discussions aren’t typically likely to lead to you swaying someone in your direction and the chances of that dive from slim to none if you’re berating them for disagreeing with you.

Upon reading some of these conversations, it made me wonder why many people are comfortable being so venomous towards one another. Sure, we all let a harsh word slip from time to time, but I’d like to think we’re immediately remorseful.

Everyone knows how bad it feels when we are treated rudely and hopefully everyone also knows how much better it feels to be treated with kindness. The difference is profound. What if we all made a commitment, a sort of pact with ourselves, that any time we’re tempted to speak bitterly that we catch ourselves first and turn it around into positive thoughts or speech?

Instead of reprimanding that cashier who is grumpy or being a little too slow for your liking, try issuing a compliment. Notice how his or her demeanor changes, softens. I’m a firm believer that no one is chronically rude or cold simply because it’s a component of their personality. I believe (and I teach my children this) that unhappy folks have an underlying reason for their mood, a reason we may never know or see–a past hurt, a spouse who just abandoned them, an illness they’re fighting.

Our words can be like tiny murders or they can be mighty encouragements. In the busyness of our days, let’s pause and really see others and extend some kindnesses. Watch how your compassionate actions impact the person on the receiving end. See how it impacts you.

“Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each others, just as Christ also has forgiven you.” ~ Ephesians 4:32

November 5, 2014

Encouragement

Directionally Challenged…The GPS

I’m a nervous driver when it comes to traveling in unfamiliar territory, especially if the unfamiliar is near or in a city. I’m nearly convinced that if the GPS had never been invented I wouldn’t be able to travel far by car on my own. Even with my trusty GPS, I sometimes usurp its authority. The truth of it is, I occasionally overrule the clear directions given by my GPS. When the next path seems odd or doesn’t make perfect sense to me, I will go left instead of the instructed right, or take this exit instead of the next guided one. Invariably, this choice of mine leads me in the wrong direction, most often costing me valuable time and causing unnecessary frustration. What was my reasoning in this situation, I usually ask myself. Did I think that my limited view from my car on foreign highways was a better, more accurate view than the mammoth satellite in the sky has that can see where all roads lead?

This can, at times, parallel my relationship with God. I seek His guidance. I ask for His help. Then I think I know better (or that I know faster if He doesn’t give me immediate clarity in a situation), so I go my own way instead of availing to His direction. Every once in awhile, I forget that He sees the big picture, not only this minute that I can see, but days, months, years ahead of now. Where I can only see where I’ve come from and where I am now, He can see the amazing places I have yet to go and the fantastic things I’ve yet to do and be. When I start to think I know best, I have to check myself and remember Who has the best view and the fail-proof directions.

“Acknowledge Him in all your ways and He will make your paths straight.” ~Proverbs 3:6

Be Encouraged!

October 6, 2014

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Welcome, friends...I'm Melanie! A Christian, menopausal wife, mother, and pug mom. I'm living my happiest life with my husband, two children, three pugs, and navigating life through hot flashes and three chronic illnesses. Having survived a brutal attack that ended a reign of domestic violence terror, I am here to encourage you if you're living in that terror or survived it. You can do this. Besides my family, I also love reading, writing, a dash of reality TV, shopping, hot tea on a cold day, and all sorts of comfort things. I hope you find encouragement, friendship or a smile here. :)