I used to be a voracious reader. A book-a-week kind of reader. Of course when I became a mother, I had less time to read but I still read books when time allowed. I was able to read books and maintain that focus. When I had my son, we went through multiple traumas over the course of the week leading up to and including his birth. Mental and physical traumas took a toll and I had difficulty being able to focus enough to really get into a book after that. When I endured a separate and horrible trauma at the hands of my abusive former husband years later, that really sealed the deal. I could barely focus to read at all. That can be a trauma response. It wasn’t until years later that I realized this. I needed help overcoming reading difficulties from trauma.
Read more: Overcoming Reading Difficulties from TraumaIt probably sounds like a crazy thing, doesn’t it? A writer who has trouble diving into a good book. I did read, but it was painstaking. That’s no reflection on authors. It was my brain being overwhelmed at the thought of consuming books. I can’t quite explain it. Focus was hard. My mind would wander and worry. I’d lose interest or flit from book to book. A sort of restless reading. Or I’d look at a wonderful book and become overwhelmed at the thought of consuming all those pages.
Don’t get me wrong, I have read. You’ve probably seen my many book reviews on this very blog. It took me far longer to read said books and much more effort than it should. They were all good, read-worthy books. It was a “it’s not you, it’s me” situation.
I’ve grown a craving to read the past several months. Busyness ran into holidays ran into the new year and here I am. A reader once again. I kind of cracked the code…for myself anyhow. And I feel invigorated by reading. In fact, I’ve dove right into fiction again, my old and first reading love.
So what changed? I’m not perfectly sure but I think it’s likely that I did. Something clicked. Maybe I let go of something that was “blocking” me. I was inspired by my daughter. She’s gotten into reading once again and loves the ACOTAR series. (If you don’t know, look it up. I might start it too!) She got an adorable Kindle and decorated it with cute stickers and a lovely PopSocket. I’m a sucker for cute things.
One thing about me is I love gadgets. I have fun toying around on my computer and phone, trying new apps. I especially enjoy doing what I’m doing now: creating. Writing or graphics especially. So I asked my husband if he could set me up with one of our iPads to use (instead of buying a Kindle, I can use what we have and utilize the Kindle app on my iPad). He did. I got some cutesy stickers, a cool iPad case, and let the downloading of books begin.
I’ve downloaded a couple dozen books this year and paid nothing for them. Secret revealed below on how I accomplished that. I’ve fallen back in love with reading and am on my third book of 2024, and I am elated that I’m excited to settle down in the evening with a good book. Books are good old friends, aren’t they? I thank my daughter for inspiring me to take that leap. Her zest for the books she’s been reading really was the catalyst for me to even try to read for pleasure again.
I am so happy. I’ve got a bunch of beach reads ready for our upcoming vacation and I read myself to sleep each evening. Life is good.
Now, back to how I got those free books. Did you know Amazon Prime has First Reads? If you’re a Prime member, they release some free books at the beginning of each month. The first book I read this year was a First Read, free to me! I signed up for Freebooksy. They send you a daily email with free books to download. I’ve gotten self-help books, romance, mystery, cookbooks, health-related books, and even devotionals, all for free. Thanks to my sister for these recommendations for freebies.
Why did using my iPad and the Kindle app suddenly make reading more doable for me? I think it’s because it’s one page at a time. I can glance down at the bottom of the screen and see how many pages there are to go and how many I’ve read. But I can’t really see the whole book. It’s just one page at a time versus seeing 300 or 500 or 1,000 pages in front of you. So that element of overwhelm to the traumatized brain doesn’t exist so much to me in this context.
It’s been a real gift to me to enjoy the world of reading again. Honestly, it’s spurring me forward in my writing as well, which is another gift. If you struggle to read because of trauma or something else that’s blocking you or overwhelming you, maybe try small books at first. Novellas are shorter. Then try to graduate to what I’m doing, using an electronic method of reading, a Kindle, Nook or iPad, so you’re just dealing with one page at a time. Don’t look back or ahead. Just focus on right where you’re at, the present page.
Let me know how it goes if this has been a battle for you.
Read on,
