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abuse

Abuse and Self Care, Encouragement, Life Is Beautiful

Letting Go of “Old Ghosts”

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please keep your eyes and hear open to a loved one who may be suffering. If you’re that loved one who’s suffering, know that there is help and there is hope. This is not your fault. You are worth more!

“You’re not good enough.”

“Can’t you do anything right?”

“You’re too (thin, fat, dumb, lazy…)”

“You’re not smart enough, pretty enough…just not enough.”

Have you heard any of those ugly phrases before? They sting horribly, don’t they? Even if we know in our heart of hearts that those words aren’t true, it still hurts terribly when they escape from the lips of someone who’s promised to love and adore us. Continue Reading

Abuse and Self Care, Encouragement, Health

Life and the Family Bully

Is there a family member who likes to verbally jab you?

Are they passive-aggressive or outright mean to you?

Do they manipulate you or try to guilt you into doing things their way?

Do they try to make you feel guilty or bad for what you’ve accomplished or lay a guilt trip in order to coerce you into doing things you don’t really want to do, or don’t have the time, money or energy to accomplish?

These are family bullies…
Continue Reading

Abuse and Self Care, Encouragement, Health

Silence the Bullying Voices

I’m sure all of us could think of at least one time we’ve experienced bullying in our lives. Unfortunately, perhaps we could conjure up repeated times someone has felt free to bully us and it’s probably a fair bet to say that still hurts at least a little and you still remember every detail of that bullying. Why? Because it’s painful. Someone has used ugly words and actions to run you down, to try to gain power over you, to try to pound you down so that they can rise up. Bullying is about the bully trying to keep you down in hopes it will elevate himself.

 What bullying actually does is expose who the bully really is: insecure, hurting, and hiding. Continue Reading

Abuse and Self Care, Encouragement, Health

Abusive Relationships: No Shame and Misplaced Blame

What keeps abuse victims in the abusive relationships that oppress them so severely?

Confusion: Why has this happened? I must have caused it.

Helplessness: How do I get out? There’s no way out so I must deserve to stay.

Loneliness: No one will ever understand because surely this has never happened to anyone but me. I’m all alone. It’s my shameful secret.

Shame: I can’t tell people how I’m being treated; it’s embarrassing, shameful; something must be wrong with me…. Continue Reading