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Encouragement, Healthy Relationships

How to Make Your Husband Feel Loved

HOW TO MAKE YOUR HUSBAND FEEL LOVED 

 

Today is my wedding anniversary.  Collectively, my husband and I have been married nearly 40 years, but only 2 to each other. Although our first marriages did not work out despite our separate efforts to have Biblical marriages, we did learn a lot from those years with other spouses. We learned valuable lessons in what worked and what didn’t, how to be supportive spouses, and that it was right to expect to have a supportive, loving spouse in return.

Marriage is an amazing bond when you do it right. Certainly, I’m not perfect. I will falter. I can’t help it…I’m human. But I do know what it takes to make my husband feel loved and every day I make a decision to do those things. I want him to feel supported, loved, and honored. I once read that a man most needs to feel respected while a woman most needs to feel cherished and I believe in large part, that is true. Here are a few key points I’ve learned that make my husband feel loved.

Treat Him with Respect  As I mentioned above, one of the most important things to a man is to feel respected by his wife and family. Once respect is lost by the husband or wife, it’s easy to go in a downward spiral quickly and it’s hard to repair. Speak highly of your husband whether he can hear you or not. If you have an issue with him, discuss it with him, not with your girlfriends. Approach him lovingly and if outside help is needed to resolve the issue, get it. Seek out wise counsel with a pastor or Biblical counselor.  But refrain from name calling, even if you think it’s harmless. Be kind to him in his presence and in the presence of others.  Express that you expect the same.

Be Supportive of His Dreams We all have dreams. Some of them may seem silly and unattainable but nevertheless, they’re our dreams. I want support of my dreams, right? What an amazing feeling when someone tells you to chase after it and they offer help in doing so.  Be that support for your spouse. Even if you’re simply a sounding board or an encourager, be that if it’s what he needs.  If you’re supportive of his aspirations, he will be supportive of yours.

Pray for Him  Life is difficult. Men have a lot on their shoulders. Even if we don’t put those things on their shoulders, they pile it on themselves. If you didn’t like a movie he suggested, he takes it a little personally. If you’re struggling financially, often men feel the pressure of that even if they’re working like crazy to turn things around. Pray for him, that he will feel loved, honored, and supported, that God will give him the strength he needs for the day, that he will feel supported and loved at home so when he’s out in the world he can handle daily stress in a healthy way. Pray for him to flee from temptation and turn away from all the things that bombard him in the media. Pray that he will be praying for you and that he’ll honor and cherish you.

What things do you do on a daily basis to make your husband feel special? In what ways do you make a strong effort to support him? On the flip side, what does he do to make you feel cherished and supported?

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November 17, 2014
Encouragement

Jesus Loves You!

We hear this all the time: Jesus loves you!  It’s even a song. It’s an oft-heard phrase but have you ever really dissected that a bit and thought about how precious that really is? Sometimes we feel so small…we’re just one in a sea of billions of people on Earth. And there have been billions of people here before us and God loved them all. So what’s so special about me??  Let me tell you.

There may be billions of people but there’s none just like you or me or the guy down the street. We’re all uniquely different with our own oddities, quirks, features, characteristics, wants, needs, dreams. We often feel like the speck in “Horton Hears a Who.” Sometimes we feel so small,as if we’re a speck on the speck. But I’m telling you, He cares about everything you care about, simply because you care about it. If it’s important to you, it’s important to Him. If it hurts you, it hurts Him. He carries our burdens…willingly!

If you think of all the grains of sand on a beach, they’re too numerous to count. You couldn’t pick out a specific grain of sand. They all look the same! We’re those grains of sand–there are so many of us.  Except God can reach down and pluck out a “grain” and tell you all about that “grain”, what it looks like, feels like, what it cares about, where it’s been, where it’s going.  He can pick each one of us out of a crowd and knows everything about us at any time…because He loves us. I just wanted you to know.

November 6, 2014
Uncategorized

Ten Things About the Duggars

When I say “The Duggars” most people know who I’m talking about. The Duggar family has been long-known as “the ones with all the kids.” They do have “19 Kids and Counting”, which is the appropriate title of their reality TV show on TLC. Many people have strong feelings about this larger-than-average family.  They either love them or…they don’t.

I’ll admit when they first came into the public eye (when there were fewer than 19 children), I wasn’t a fan. I couldn’t understand how it was responsible to have that many children. After all, how could parents possibly keep track of each one and give them much-needed undivided attention on a daily basis? I judged them, assuming the older kids all but raised the younger ones. I didn’t dislike them per se, but I didn’t understand their ways so I didn’t make any attempts to investigate and see what they were really about.

Eventually I gave them a chance and started watching their show here and there and no one was more surprised than I to find that this family grew on me. Here are my ten reasons why:

1. I just plain like them.

The Duggars are likable, it’s just that simple. They seem like people who I could be friends with and have some laughs with and learn from.

2.  They have an unshakable faith. 

The Duggars have been raked over the coals time and again for their beliefs and the way they choose to live. But they’re confident in their spirituality and they haven’t let the criticism sway them. They live out their faith.

3.  They’re honest about their mistakes. 

Jim Bob and Michelle have been open about some mistakes they made early on in their life. They’ve copped to some debt and some other circumstances they’d change if they could go back and do so. They are very straight forward that some of their parenting strategies are formed around preventing their children from making similar poor decisions.

4.  They make messes.

There is a big bunch of little ones running around the Duggar house which translates into bigger messes than in most homes. The struggle is real, people. Keeping a house neat and tidy when we have two children is practically an Olympic event some days. Imagine keeping any kind of order with 19 (nineteen!) kids playing, finger painting, making blanket forts.  They don’t pretend that they’ve got it all together at all times. There are messes and they just clean them up and move on to the next one.

5.  They laugh a lot.

Laughter is huge in my life. I’m a firm believer in laughing every chance there is. So when I see this family joking around, especially between Jim Bob and Michelle, it really endears me. The family that laughs together, stays together.

6.  They shop secondhand and are proud of it.

Be still my heart. Celebrities who buy secondhand! I’m a bargain shopper, born and bred, and even if I break the millionaire tax bracket someday, I’ll still be a bargain shopper. Why pay more for something if you don’t have to? The Duggars buy secondhand and even make some of their own clothing and it’s admirable and it’s also smart. They make good use of what God has given them.

7.  They have real talents and interests.

It appears most if not all of the Duggar children have musical ability. They take musical lessons and have vast interests. Many of the boys help with construction and home improvement (as we saw when the family readied an investment home for newlyweds Jill and Derick).

Jill has a love of midwifery and coaching mothers and helping newborns enter the world and the other children have displayed various interests. They are individuals and their uniqueness shows.

8.  They have each other’s backs.

There is real comradery and support amongst the members of the Duggar family. There is genuine love and tenderness and a healthy amount of teasing. But overall, the kids seem very supportive and truly happy for the others’ successes.

9.  They have great hair.

Seriously, this family has been blessed from a follicular standpoint. The girls have long hair and volume for days. It’s beautiful and I’ve noticed them mention more than once how they enjoy doing each other’s hair in different braids and curls.

10. They make it all work.

I’m sure they’re like any other family. They have problems. There are cross words and sibling rivalry that crop up. But they love each other and have developed a system and they make it work. It seems effortless, but I’m sure it’s not. To make sure 19 kids and 2 parents are cared for and have the attention they need is sure to be a challenge but they’re in it together.

They’re a formidable team and their faith is the glue that makes them stick. They’ve really endeared themselves to me over the years and I’ve found myself tearing up at the wedding proposals and cheering for them as Michelle and Jim Bob become grandparents and in-laws to the young people marrying into their family. As they go on mission trips, help others, and keep on keeping on, I’ll keep on tuning in.

 

October 28, 2014