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Kindness, Strangers, and What’s Good About Both

This happened outside my home today.  I saw him back into what he thought was our driveway.  Only it wasn’t. It was a ditch. With all the white out there it was hard to determine which was which. As he gave his truck the gas, I felt his pain and watched him slide deeper into the ditch, solidifying his position. I have been in similar situations many times before…too many, if you ask my husband, so I could relate this man’s plight.  I wanted to be able to help him but I couldn’t. I was home alone and had no ability to pull him out of the ditch. Simply put, I felt really bad for him.  When he got out of his truck, I could see he was wearing what I liken to a mechanics uniform with his name on the front. I imagined he was a hard worker, maybe of slim means and that the deer in the back of his truck might be what would feed his family this winter.

He's really wedged in there.

It reminded me of the many times I’d gotten stuck in the snow, but of a particularly scary time. My son was about three or four years old and we were on the way to pick up my daughter at school. We took the usual route which included a usually well-traveled back road. It was winter and I was careful, but we hit a patch of invisible ice and the next thing I knew, my Jeep was spinning in circles in the road.  I remember feeling terror and that same feeling of helplessness and I still swear to this day that I heard glass shatter as we slammed into the ditch, HARD.  I immediately looked at my son, snug and secure in his car seat. It had done its job and protected him. He had a bit of a stunned look on his face but he was perfectly fine. Thank you, Lord. I checked for cuts, certain the broken glass had hit him somewhere. Immediately scanning the damage, I could see there was none. I had clearly heard glass breaking in the back end of the vehicle when we hit the solid, frozen, deep ditch and now, upon further inspection, the entire vehicle and more importantly, my son and I, were intact.

I breathed a thankful prayer before realizing the road was not well-traveled at all that day. No one was around. It was freezing. My cell phone had spotty service out on this country road and my daughter who was about eight at the time was waiting for us at school, likely wondering where we were right about then. I tried driving out of the ditch but it was literally a no go. We were stuck and we weren’t going anywhere without some help. Once again, I felt helpless. There was nothing I could do but pray and wait. No one was coming for us.

We didn’t wait long until a guardian angel-a kind stranger-came upon us. He had a big pickup truck no less. With his swift help, we were out of the ditch and on the way to get my girl in no time. The only payment he would accept was my gratitude, which I gushed. He was on his way quickly like this was something he did every day on his way by. Though we lived in a very small town at the time, I’d never seen him before or since that day. But I’m still ever thankful for his kindness. He could have driven past us and gone about his day. Surely he had somewhere to be and things to accomplish. He was busy like the rest of us. But he wasn’t too busy to help a mom and her baby out of a ditch. This was over seven years ago and my son and I still recall the kindness of this stranger.

Free at last...because a kind stranger bothered to help.

Free at last…because a kind stranger bothered to help.

So when I saw this (above) happen about fifteen minutes after this gentleman slid into the ditch, I was thankful on his behalf. The man hooked up the trucks, pulled out the stuck truck, and was on his way with a wave. And that was that. But for this man who was previously wedged in the ditch, his whole day was changed, I’m quite sure. He didn’t have to wait in the frigid air for a tow truck and he didn’t have to suffer the expense of one either.  For him and for me me in my situation, the kindness of strangers made all the difference.

What can you do to take mere moments from your day that might make a monumental difference in someone else’s life?

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Ten Things About the Duggars

When I say “The Duggars” most people know who I’m talking about. The Duggar family has been long-known as “the ones with all the kids.” They do have “19 Kids and Counting”, which is the appropriate title of their reality TV show on TLC. Many people have strong feelings about this larger-than-average family.  They either love them or…they don’t.

I’ll admit when they first came into the public eye (when there were fewer than 19 children), I wasn’t a fan. I couldn’t understand how it was responsible to have that many children. After all, how could parents possibly keep track of each one and give them much-needed undivided attention on a daily basis? I judged them, assuming the older kids all but raised the younger ones. I didn’t dislike them per se, but I didn’t understand their ways so I didn’t make any attempts to investigate and see what they were really about.

Eventually I gave them a chance and started watching their show here and there and no one was more surprised than I to find that this family grew on me. Here are my ten reasons why:

1. I just plain like them.

The Duggars are likable, it’s just that simple. They seem like people who I could be friends with and have some laughs with and learn from.

2.  They have an unshakable faith. 

The Duggars have been raked over the coals time and again for their beliefs and the way they choose to live. But they’re confident in their spirituality and they haven’t let the criticism sway them. They live out their faith.

3.  They’re honest about their mistakes. 

Jim Bob and Michelle have been open about some mistakes they made early on in their life. They’ve copped to some debt and some other circumstances they’d change if they could go back and do so. They are very straight forward that some of their parenting strategies are formed around preventing their children from making similar poor decisions.

4.  They make messes.

There is a big bunch of little ones running around the Duggar house which translates into bigger messes than in most homes. The struggle is real, people. Keeping a house neat and tidy when we have two children is practically an Olympic event some days. Imagine keeping any kind of order with 19 (nineteen!) kids playing, finger painting, making blanket forts.  They don’t pretend that they’ve got it all together at all times. There are messes and they just clean them up and move on to the next one.

5.  They laugh a lot.

Laughter is huge in my life. I’m a firm believer in laughing every chance there is. So when I see this family joking around, especially between Jim Bob and Michelle, it really endears me. The family that laughs together, stays together.

6.  They shop secondhand and are proud of it.

Be still my heart. Celebrities who buy secondhand! I’m a bargain shopper, born and bred, and even if I break the millionaire tax bracket someday, I’ll still be a bargain shopper. Why pay more for something if you don’t have to? The Duggars buy secondhand and even make some of their own clothing and it’s admirable and it’s also smart. They make good use of what God has given them.

7.  They have real talents and interests.

It appears most if not all of the Duggar children have musical ability. They take musical lessons and have vast interests. Many of the boys help with construction and home improvement (as we saw when the family readied an investment home for newlyweds Jill and Derick).

Jill has a love of midwifery and coaching mothers and helping newborns enter the world and the other children have displayed various interests. They are individuals and their uniqueness shows.

8.  They have each other’s backs.

There is real comradery and support amongst the members of the Duggar family. There is genuine love and tenderness and a healthy amount of teasing. But overall, the kids seem very supportive and truly happy for the others’ successes.

9.  They have great hair.

Seriously, this family has been blessed from a follicular standpoint. The girls have long hair and volume for days. It’s beautiful and I’ve noticed them mention more than once how they enjoy doing each other’s hair in different braids and curls.

10. They make it all work.

I’m sure they’re like any other family. They have problems. There are cross words and sibling rivalry that crop up. But they love each other and have developed a system and they make it work. It seems effortless, but I’m sure it’s not. To make sure 19 kids and 2 parents are cared for and have the attention they need is sure to be a challenge but they’re in it together.

They’re a formidable team and their faith is the glue that makes them stick. They’ve really endeared themselves to me over the years and I’ve found myself tearing up at the wedding proposals and cheering for them as Michelle and Jim Bob become grandparents and in-laws to the young people marrying into their family. As they go on mission trips, help others, and keep on keeping on, I’ll keep on tuning in.

 

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The Big Squeeze

It’s October and for me, that change of the calendar makes it officially the fall season.  For those of us who don’t love winter, we can usually fool ourselves into believing all of September is an honorary part of summer even though it tends to get cooler and of course, school starts.  But once October rings in, we can’t deny fall is truly here, at least not where I live.  It’s brisker outside, the air feels different, the sun is less shiny, and the leaves are rapidly changing to beautiful fire and jewel tones.  October is Sweetest Day, Halloween, and many family birthdays.  But October is very significant, marked with pink bows as reminders to get “squished” at your annual mammogram.

Because this early detection test is so important, I decided to document my most recent mammogram in hopes of taking away some of the fear and anxiety that can often surround that dreaded test.  I won’t deny that mammograms are uncomfortable, even a little painful.  But they’re so quick and so worth it.  Remember, early detection is key to saving us from this disease!  Please don’t allow finances deter you from engaging in the yearly “boobie trap.”  Where I live, the medical center performs the test for free and I am certain this must be so in most areas.  If money is a concern, please make some phone calls and start with your local health department, inquiring about free or low-cost testing.

When I arrived at my mammogram appointment, I wasn’t anxious.  I started having yearly mamms in my mid-30’s so this has become old hat for me.  It’s not something I look forward to.  I don’t generally skip happily on my way to the exam room, but because it’s so important, I let health be the focus and not how the test is going to feel.  My maternal grandmother was a breast cancer survivor and like most of you probably do, I know many other courageous women who have fought or are fighting this heinous disease.

Once I signed in, I didn’t have to wait long at all before the mammographer  retrieved me from the relaxing waiting room (it even had a lovely fireplace!)  We went back into a suite complete with changing rooms, private waiting room, and of course, the exam rooms.  Things have improved on the mammography fashion front.  Gone is the snazzy paper gown. Instead, I got this royal purple kimono-type top.  It’s actual fabric!

1354When I finished the change, I got my own locker with key to store my personal items.  This was pretty handy because at previous appointments at other facilities I had to abandon my purse and clothes in a lockless and unattended room while I underwent the test, which made me feel even more vulnerable, so this locker was a happy surprise.

1355 My mammographer who was shy but accommodating when I asked her to join me in an “ussie” (as opposed to a “selfie), was wonderful.  She was refreshing and lighthearted and we had some good conversation throughout the appointment.  I can tell you, having medical personnel with a good sense of humor and kind bedside manner is imperative and makes the situation so much easier.

1357Next came the test itself.  Of course, I’m not showing pictures of that but we did simulate it with the machine for the purpose of this post.  The mammography machine doesn’t look so bad.  It isn’t intimidating.  There’s not really much more than this to see.  It’s some horizontal and vertical plates.  You’re squished a bit for sure, but it’s very momentary.  They do direct you not to breathe while they take the x-ray (like you have that choice!), but those few seconds of discomfort are nothing to fear.

1359I assure you that it’s not a torturous test like many women fear.  If you’ve had a mammogram, you would hopefully agree.  I’m sure every experience is unique but the minimal discomfort is honestly worth it because this is for our health.  This is hope.  Make your appointment if you haven’t had a mammogram this year.  Call your mother.  Call your sister.  Call your best friends.  Encourage them to make (and keep!) appointments.  Make them together.  There’s power and comfort in numbers.  Do this for your family and do this for yourself. Think Pink!