Thousands of bright-eyed, hopeful, big dreamers are taking part in graduation this month. They will transition from thirteen years of school surrounded by friends, some they’ve known since toddler-hood. They’ll make plans…plans that will set the course for the next big phase of their lives. They’ll make decisions that will direct their paths.
As I sat at two graduation ceremonies this week for two different schools in support of my daughter’s graduating friends, listening to speeches, I wondered what I’d say if I had to share words of wisdom to these kids-turning-adults who are tingling with excitement about what they’ve accomplished and what their collective futures hold.
Follow your dreams. You will never be more free or less encumbered with responsibilities than at this point in your life. Use this time wisely to figure out what your dreams are and how to chase after them. Make sure you inject healthy amounts of whimsy and spontaneity into your life right now (and always, really). Travel. Plan big adventures. The world is your oyster and you can change it for the better. You have real power!
Get good grades. If you’re heading off to college away from home, you’ll be surrounded by new sites, sounds, people, and things to do. You’ll want to experience it all. There will parties and late night talks with dorm rooms full of people and pizza. This is good for some of the time, but you can only pull so many all-nighters or late-nighters before you can’t hold up your end of the education bargain. You’re there first and foremost to get an education and it doesn’t come cheaply. Whether your parents are footing the bill or you’ve earned scholarships, appreciate your education and work hard. Find the balance between fun and studying.
Maintain good credit. When I was in college, credit card companies pursued college students relentlessly. They knew we’d want “free” credit, the ability to charge significant amounts of money, and they figured that mom and dad would pay it off because we certainly couldn’t. Don’t be enticed, now or at any time in life. Credit is to be valued. Be very careful with it. Make wise decisions in regards to loans, credit, and what you purchase. Don’t feel the need to have everything all at once. Save for what you desire. It feels better knowing you sacrificed and maintained the ability to put away money each week or month and achieved a goal. And when you want to make a large purchase like a vehicle or especially a home, having excellent credit will make things go smoothly. You will save money and headaches having high credit scores and it will afford you many advantages. At this age you get to start your credit history with a clean slate. Keep it that way.
For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are for good and not evil, for a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11
Make good decisions. If you’re away at college, there will be a lot of new experiences available to you and not all of them are moral, legal or healthy. Alcohol will likely be popular and easy to find on many college campuses. Just don’t do it. It can put you in dangerous situations if you drink too much, as is often the temptation. You can have fun without letting all your defenses down, rendering you unable to protect yourself. Wait until you can drink legally and responsibly without peer pressure being an issue. Drinking, drugs, and sex all can lead to results you simply don’t want. Be careful because one wrong decision can change your life forever. It can halt your dreams or at the very least put them on a long hold.
Call your parents. Sure, you may be away from home and you’re “finally free!” But your parents did a lot (a lot) to get you there. They miss you. No matter how many jokes they may have made about remodeling your bedroom the second you leave for college, they probably won’t. They’ll miss you every second until your back home with a big bag of dirty laundry and they’ll miss you the second you leave again. It’s a big adjustment to have a child go away to college and they will still worry about you…maybe now more than ever. Call them often. There’s no excuse not to now that we have cell phones and easy access. Text your mom a few times a week just to say you love her and that you’re okay.
And most important of all…
Be firm in your faith and don’t stray from it. As mentioned, you will encounter all sorts of new people with new ideas and new lifestyles. You’ll be bombarded with things that will challenge your faith. You’ll be faced with situations (like drinking, sex…) that will be a crossroads for you. No doubt, peer pressure will creep in from time to time. You may be challenged in your faith in some classes.
Have a firm foundation in God. Take Jesus to college with you. Join on-campus Christian groups. They will be a tremendous support for you and provide a good friendship base as well. There should be an on-campus church. Attend it regularly and invite your friends. Get involved.
Enjoy this process of growing up into adulthood. Embrace the adventure and make good choices. Seek God in all of them. Don’t buy the myth that you’re an adult now so you don’t need your parents. You need your parents. There’s so much wisdom we parents can provide. We always have your best interests at heart like no one else in the world and we always have your back. Go boldly forward but firmly in faith.
