“It seems those most likely to miss God’s work in the world are those most convinced they know exactly what to look for, the ones who expect God to play by the rules.” ~ Rachel Held Evans from Searching for Sundays: loving, leaving, and finding the church
Do you ever question your faith?
Wonder why you believe what you do?
Confused whether any of “this” is real?
Have you ever left a church?
I like lists. I depend on them. I make a list for nearly everything:
As you may have realized, I just created a list of things I create lists about!
Have you ever watched Sister Wives on The Learning Channel (TLC)? I’ll admit, I’m a regular viewer. I don’t watch it because I believe in their lifestyle. I actually don’t agree with it. Likewise, I don’t watch it to ridicule them. I watch it because I think they’re lovely people (from what we see each week) and I don’t understand how they choose to live, but different lifestyles and cultures intrigue me.
I can certainly see the appeal of a built-in support system they have as sister wives. What mother wouldn’t enjoy having three trusted babysitters available to help at a moment’s notice within very close proximity to your home? As well, who wouldn’t love having three close confidants who love and protect your children and whose children you love and protect? What I don’t understand and never will, is the the willingness to share a husband.
God is good. It’s a simple phrase of three words that we hear often. It’s usually followed by “all the time.” Right now, for me, the phrase reminds me of a raw fear I felt 13 years ago at this time. Thirteen years ago on this day, I was a few days post-op from having my first Crohn’s-related surgery.
It had been a painful time leading up to this emergent surgery. I had months earlier happily discovered I was expecting my second child, something I had been hoping for. I knew almost as soon as the early pregnancy test showed a faint positive that Fourth of July, that this pregnancy was very different from my first.
I was sick…morning, noon, and night sickness for three months that ended when the real pain began. I had such severe abdominal pain that by the time evening arrived each day, I was literally crawling to bed because I was in too much pain to stand upright.
Doctor visits and ultrasounds revealed an intestinal narrowing–an unfortunate but common occurrence in Crohn’s patients. The plan? Wait it out and see what came first–delivery or bowel perforation. I prayed for a healthy delivery.