Self care is a phrase often used these days. We talk about it, we write about it, we dedicate entire hashtags to it (like #selfcaresaturday).
How good are we at exercising it?
Sometimes pretty good.
Other times, we come in last on our list of priorities. I challenge you to read this list and realize how you can implement methods of self care so you can enjoy healthier relationships and overall, just be happier!
Get Enough Rest: You don’t have to tell me how hard good sleep is to come by. I struggle almost every single night to get a decent night’s sleep due to chronic illnesses, pain, and good ole menopausal hot flashes. If you’re struggling to sleep, try to discern why. Is it because the temperature in your room is too hot or cold? Does your partner snore? Do you lay awake worried and your mind won’t shut off? Do you stay up too late watching TV so you don’t have enough sleep hours? If you’re just not able to sleep despite trying, talk to your doctor-not necessarily for meds-but about possible causes.
Hang Out with Healthy People: Sometimes difficult or toxic folks are unavoidable, but overall, surround yourself with people who lift you up, who are pleasant to be around, and are true friends. Choosing right relationships is part of self care.
Talk to Someone: Whether it’s a therapist, pastor or your buddy, talk to someone. It’s Biblical that we carry each other’s burdens. We just can’t do this life alone so don’t be ashamed or embarrassed to share your fears, worries, and burdens with those you trust.
Choose the Healthy ‘Yes’ and ‘No’: In other words, we don’t have to say “yes” to everything that’s asked of us. Say “yes” to what you can do, what fits in your life and doesn’t overload yourself. Don’t feel bad about it. Say “yes” to people and things that are healthy for you. Say “no” to what isn’t.
Exercise and Eat Well: I’m not talking diets or fitness that doesn’t make sense for you. I’m talking about eating foods that work well in your body (for example, since I have Crohn’s, sometimes even healthy veggies can make me sick) and give you energy and help you feel good. Exercise several times a week, even if that means doing squats or crunches during commercial breaks at night or taking a walk during your lunch hour. Keep moving your body in whatever capacity you’re able.
Make Time for What Matters: Make time to spend with your children. Make time to spend with your spouse. Make time to spend with yourself. You heard me. We all need alone time to process, to take a nap, to read, to go sit at the beach and do nothing, and to just be alone with our thoughts. Make room for all of this regularly.
Weed Out Toxic: Toxic relationships will rule your world, not in a good way. Choose yourself and make steps to leaving toxic relationships. As always, if you’re in a dangerous situation, privately reach out to a women’s shelter or other domestic violence resource to help you formulate a plan to get you and your children to safety.
Chase Your Dreams: You’re not too old, too busy or too anything. There’s no reason not to pursue your dreams. I’m in my second calling. I turn 50 this year and I’m finishing my first book. That’s been a dream of mine since childhood and this is the time of my life in which I can accomplish that. What have you always dreamt of doing? Can you take even one small baby step every day towards the realization of that big dream?
Get Regular Medical and Dental Check-Ups: See your doctor when you’re supposed to: when you feel ill, when a new symptom crops up, and for regular check-ups. As women we especially tend to put these things off because we’re taking care of our families, but if we’re not taken care of, how will we care for them? Make your GYN appointments, mammograms, regular dental cleanings and the like. If paying for these services is a struggle, talk to your providers and explain that. Ask for a payment plan, a reduced cost or talk to the financial office at the medical system in your area. There should be financial help available.
Choose to Love Yourself: Self care is a lot about self love. Love yourself enough to make good choices, to give yourself time, proper care, and healthy relationships. Speak life into yourself. When you look in the mirror, stop berating yourself. Stop picking apart every dimple on your thighs and every wrinkle on your face. Stop it. Start saying kind things to yourself. Every day. Every day choose to appreciate the body you have and what it’s survived and how much strength you own. Don’t allow negative self talk anymore.
How’s your spiritual life? As a Christian, prayer, reading the Bible and other biblical books, plus going to church are all a part of my self care. What are other things you’d add to this list?
Love yourself,
